I went to the UN General Assembly along with other Filipino UN personnel to witness the speech of President Bongbong Marcos today. It has been a practice by Pinoy staff that when Philippine presidents come and speak in the GA Hall, we go and watch. No comments, no statements, we just show up.
In today’s message, the President made it clear how the Philippines wants to be seen internationally as a balanced, cooperative country that promotes peace, diplomacy, and global cooperation.
I remember back in 2014, I went with an officemate to watch President Noynoy Aquino’s speech at the UN General Assembly. On that day, we were walking in the UN compound when we passed by the rose garden. And who do we see there casually hanging out? The President himself, chatting with the Philippine Ambassador to the UN, Ambassador Libran Cabactulan and other officials.
Now my colleague, being naturally PR-savvy and a bit artistahin, didn’t waste the moment. She basically said, “Let’s go say hi.” Next thing I know, the Ambassador is introducing us to the President. So there we were, standing in the UN rose garden having a casual chat with the President of the Philippines. He asked us about our jobs and how work in the UN was going.
And of course, when you’re talking to the President, there’s an unspoken rule: Selfie. So yes, we asked to take pictures.
Back in the Philippines, I had seen PNoy before when he was still a senator, because I used to work in the Senate and sometimes we’d ride in the same elevator. But that was the first time I actually spoke to him as President, so my colleague and I were a little star-struck.
PNoy was actually very relaxed, cool and funny. While we were talking he kept cracking jokes. At one point he said something that, honestly, I didn’t find that funny. I must have had a delayed reaction because my friend suddenly elbowed me (hard enough)… her way of saying, “Hoy, tumawa ka! Presidente ‘yan!”🤣 So yes, we laughed. Dutifully.
Fast forward two years later, when I got appointed to serve in government under President Duterte in 2016. While doing my job, I ended up in a political struggle because I didn’t get along with a certain cabinet secretary at the time. Let’s just say I wasn’t a fan of some of the “creative governance styles” happening around me. Soon enough, his people started going after me including some colorful personalities around Malacañang and a whole network of crazy trolls.
They started digging through old photos of me. And what did they find? That innocent UN photo with PNoy and some older photos of me with Kiko Pangilinan and Bam Aquino. Next thing I know, these photos were circulating around troll networks claiming I was a “Dilawan spy.”
According to their very imaginative storyline, I was a “close-in staff member of PNoy” and “extremely close to the Aquino family” that I had even joined the President on foreign trips. Sabi nila, I had infiltrated the Duterte administration pretending to be a loyal supporter just so I could secretly spy for the “Dilawans. They even said my blood was “dilaw na dilaw” and that I was taking orders from Bam Aquino, Kiko Pangilinan and the dilawan network.
Honestly, their scriptwriters deserved a Netflix contract. The truth is much simpler… In my entire life, I only spoke to PNoy once, that day in 2014 in the UN rose garden.
But yes, earlier in my career I worked in the National Youth Commission with Bam Aquino and in the Philippine Senate with Kiko Pangilinan, so naturally I did work closely with them. I was Senator Pangilinan’s Executive Assistant and Political Officer for more than 2 years! And I’m actually proud of that. I served both of them and saw how they worked up close. In all those years, I never saw any hint of corruption from either Kiko or Bam. They’re literally role model politicians and I am confident that the Philippines is in good hands when they’re leading. And because of that, I remain loyal to them. I worked with them for more than five years and I know their character personally.
Unfortunately, during the fake news era that began in 2016, trolls created all kinds of stories about them and systematically destroyed their reputations online. Sadly, many ordinary people including some of my own relatives and neighbors believed those narratives. Some of them ended up hating Bam, Kiko… and eventually at me too. But to be clear, neither Senator Bam Aquino nor Senator Kiko Pangilinan had anything to do with my appointment in the Duterte administration. I applied for the role and got accepted by the President!
Before I accepted the Undersecretary role, I did ask Bam for advice. By coincidence he and his wife were in New York in 2016, so we were able to talk. He gave me balanced advice and told me to weigh the decision carefully. But the final decision to join Duterte was mine.
When I joined the Duterte administration, I focused on doing my job. I stayed loyal to the work assigned to me and never played partisan politics inside the government. Since I was coming from an office on UN reform, my mindset was clearly to get rid of corruption in the government agency I was leading. Unfortunately, none of my professional experience and background mattered to troll writers and influencers, they just decided that I was a spy that needed to be crushed.
I gave up my UN career in 2016 and was separated from my family to answer the call to serve the country. It was unfair for trolls and some government officials to disregard all that. It was not fair that while I was helping President Duterte fulfill his promise of a clean and reformed national government, I was left alone in the fight against corruption and his very own people painted a very bad picture of me refusing to look into my person, character and accomplishments, and only focusing on creating a negative narrative. All because they believed I was a “Dilawan spy.”
The environment back then was extremely toxic. Because I refused to go along with corruption and certain questionable practices and because I waged war against corrupt officials and employees, I made enemies. Those people started fabricating accusations, spreading malicious stories, and using both media and troll networks to destroy my name. They even said I stole government cars!🤣
While I was trying to fix things inside a government agency to fight graft and corruption and broken systems, I was dealing with intrigue, harassment, and even threats to my life. According to subdivision security, there have been more than two instances where motorcycle men came to ask them if I lived there.
During my time, I uncovered a multimillion peso scheme within the bureau; I ordered for the return of millions of pesos to the national treasury; I sought for audit to correct bad practices in government— all these, reported through a long report submitted to Malacañang and no action was ever taken. In the end, I was the one crucified. Because I wasn’t strong enough and I was all alone in the fight. And the mighty President Duterte and the powerful men around him did not want to pick my fight, they had better things to do.
Real-life trolls walking down the halls of government offices took over leadership, flipped the script, and used their powers and government resources to demolish the ‘kontrabida’ who exposed their evil ways and bruised their egos a little too painfully. They twisted the narrative and portrayed the one who exposed their wrongdoing as the offender, the culprit. The painful lesson there is this.. a completely fabricated story, repeated often enough, can seriously damage a person’s reputation. This is what they did to Kiko, Bam, Leila de Lima and many others who did not believe in their style of governance and leading the nation. To this day, some of my own neighbors in Lanao del Norte, my friends and relatives, and many around the country still believe in this falsified, deceptive narrative. Some people still think I was corrupt and evil, in the same way they’d insist De Lima was too.
And yet, despite everything, I have no regrets.
It was a tough fight, but I’m proud of the stand I took against corruption. Even though some people in power at the time chose not to support me and simply let me face the attacks alone, I left government service with my integrity intact. And I am proud to tell my children (and maybe even my grandchildren) about that colorful chapter of my life. My parents and my whole family will never forget what I stood for.
Even if I had to stand alone, and even if the world seemed to close in around me, I will always be proud that when I was given the opportunity, I stood up and fought for the Philippines. And I am willing to do it over and over again.
Whether or not I like them or support them, I sit and listen to Presidents when they speak. Not for me to put together or form an opinion about them but to remind myself of my connection and commitment to my homeland.
So, for all the things I have done for the Philippines in my own little way, even if you never ever knew about it, you’re welcome.
