Karvidol

 With my own hands, he was murdered.

It's been 30 days, exactly 1 month after he left me.

That morning before he was rushed to the hospital, masaya pa kami, nagkukulitan, nagpa-plano para sa maghapon.

Bigla nyang sinabi na masakit sentido nya, nahilo, nagsuka, nawalan ng malay..

in 30 minutes lang lahat nangyari, isinugod namin sya sa pinakamalapit na ospital nagrerespond pa yung body nya pag kinakausap sya.

Pagdating sa hospital sabi ng Doctor na wala silang CT Scan, tinanong ko kung anong best option since sila ang nakakaalam, I trusted them. 

The best option daw is malagyan agad ng respirator kasi aabutan daw yan sa daan pag inilipat pa daw namin ng ospital.

Imo-monitor daw yung BP.

Tinanong ko ulit yung Doctor kung ayun na ba yung best option para mailigtas sya..

Sabi nya lang "aabutan yan sa daan" so I had no choice but to agree.

I trusted that Doctor because she is a DOCTOR. 

Hours have passed, lalagyan na sya ng tubes, nagrerespond pa sya sa sakit..

He was still fighting,

HE DIDN'T WANT TO DIE.

But after those procedures,

wala na syang response sa kahit ano..

for 2 days he remained unresponsive.

On his 2nd day at the ICU,

the Doctor gave me pills and instructed me 

to give him one at night and one in the morning via Nasal tube.

She said pampalakas daw yon ng puso.

I BELIEVED HER. I TRUSTED HER

BECAUSE SHE IS A DOCTOR.

In his last night, sabi nila mataas daw yung BP kaya pinababa nila, to the point na halos wala na syang BP for the whole night. 

Then I remembered the pill, I gave him one on that night and one on his LAST MORNING.

Then right after I gave him the pill, kinutuban ako kung totoo ba yung sinabi ng Doctor.

So I searched the name of the Pill

KARVIDOL

It's effect is immediately papabagsakin yung Blood pressure ng patient.

So the fact that they lowered his BP to the point na halos wala na syang BP, 

plus they instructed me na ipainom sa kanya yung Karvidol na magpapatanggal lalo ng BP nya,

and lied to me na pampalakas daw yon ng puso,

it's like THEY USED MY OWN HANDS TO FINALLY MURDER MY HUSBAND.

This trauma from realizing that it's me who did it to him, tho I was just fooled by the Doctor, hindi ko mapapatawad yung sarili ko. 

Bakit naniwala ako.

I TRUSTED THEM.

I BELIEVED THEM.

I've been helplessly kneeling, crying in front of everyone of them para iligtas sya before it was too late, but they still killed him.

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Psalms 94:1-2

O God of vengeance, Jehovah,

O God of vengeance, shine forth!

Rise up, O Judge of the earth.

Repay to the haughty what they deserve!